Since 1975, SLOP COMICS has been available to the public (in one form or another) without interruption–that is until now. SLOP founder & president Brian Dreger has announced via official press release that SLOP COMICS, INC has been sold to the well-known German conglomerate FUKEENZEIT.

“I’m shocked!” said SLOP executive assistant Mrs. Johnson. “In a way, I’m happy too. Frankly, it is A LOT of work to keep the website going. Not only that, but Dreger & Skeen are very demanding…and a little cruel at times.”

Dewand Skeen, SLOP’s CEO & publisher, is even more harsh. “Dreg’s a scum. I have no idea why he is doing this. It may have something to do with mercury poisoning. He is not at all a well man. But now it makes sense why he closed the Official Slop Comics Online Store—he had to do it because now those Nazis own all that stuff. I’ve heard they intend to make coloring books for kids. But who knows?” Skeen, who claims to have had a hand in exactly fifty percent of all SLOP creations (including Tomato-Dude, The Black Nun, Lizard-Lad & Ballistic Missile-Boy, Mr. Fast and so many others), insists that the deal—structured solely by Dreger and without legal representation—is so strange that it may even suggest that “Dreg is suffering from an undiagnosed brain tumor.”

In brief, THE FUKEENZEIT CORP. gains complete ownership of all SLOP COMICS materials, including characters, story material (published & unpublished), sketches, outlines, and all intellectual property rights—including the SLOP COMICS brand name. However, the unusual structuring of the deal sees Dreger retaining exclusive rights to the URL www.slopcomics.com (as well as .org, .biz, .gov et al) and the right to keep the SLOP website up and running (though he is legally restricted from adding anything to the site or using any of the SLOP characters without the consent of THE FUKEENZEIT CORPORATION). In addition, Mr. Dreger retains all film & t.v. rights to the characters that exist prior to and at the moment of the contract’s date of registration.

“It’s an odd deal,” says Pete Jones, SLOP’s long-time managing editor. “The krauts own everything, although Dreg does get to use the SLOP name in conjunction with a new web-based podcasting program he is working on. I’ve seen the logo he designed and it’s pretty cool. But I don’t really understand why he is willing to part with the rest of the SLOP material. Maybe he knows something we don’t. Maybe he thinks that comics are dead as an art form. Who knows? The guy has never had all of the oars necessary to navigate the choppy waters of life. Like Mrs. J says…in a way it is all a big relief.”

As for the monetary compensation involved in the SLOP sale, no one is talking. But reliable sources indicate that FUKEENZEIT is merely paying off all of SLOP’s debts and buying Dreger a high-class hooker for two nights.

Whatever the truth…it’s been a long, strange, and dopey trip, friends.

Fans of the mighty cult magazine were shocked by the news that SLOP founder, Brian Dreger, has forever closed the website’s popular (but highly unprofitable) online store (once hosted by CafePress.Com).

“It was necessary,” is all that Dreger will reveal per his girl-friday & SLOP’s executive assistant, Mrs. Johnson. “Mr. Dreger just came in one day and said that the store had to be closed. He wouldn’t say why…but it can’t be because of the profit problem. SLOP’s been operating in the red since our inception!”

More details are surely to come, but for now—look to Ebay for those SLOP collectibles, folks.

Whoops–four zeros too many in that headline…but anyway—

As Dreger’s novel, Bam² Pendleton: The Human Weapon, nears 100 units sold (97 and counting, folks…), SLOP’s mighty leader is already embarking on his next literary success: Dance of The Meta-Humans!, a tale of superhero malfeasance & mayhem featuring many of the SLOP characters—and a whole slew of new, crazy, and sexually deviant heroes (it ain’t easy having amazing powers, friends).

With the critical—if not commercial (he makes no profit on any sales, folks)—success of Bam² Pendleton already beginning to dominate watercooler conversation in places like Adis Ababa and Upper Penguin, Australia, updates to this website may be a bit slow in coming…but that doesn’t mean that SLOP COMICS is merely resting on it’s laurels (besides, we only have two of those—and one of ‘em is bent). 2008 continues to be an amazingly creative time for our dedicated staff of misfits & morons!

So stay tuned!

*actual count approximated